for the last time,

don't freaking equate youth with ignorance.
everytime i speak.
everything i say.
everyone i befriend.
nothing meets your expectations.
nothing.
you tell me that i'm still young, that i don't have the wisdom to make my own choices.
maybe i don't. but who's the one leading my life?
you claim to put my interests first.
maybe. i don't think so.
you tell me that i have a lot of white hair.
i want to change it. what does it matter? red, black, there's no difference.
its still black in the end.
i'm not even allowed to go to the same tuition centre with my friends.
so where's my motivation to study?
AND YOU BLAME ME FOR SLEEPING IN CLASS.
SO ITS MY FAULT THAT I HAVE NOBODY TO TALK TO?
ITS MY FAULT THAT THERE'S NOBODY TO QUESTION?
FINE. EVERYTHING'S MY FAULT ANYWAY.
MY FAULT, MY FAULT, ALL MY FAULT.
I'M AN IDIOT. A DUMBASS. AN IMMATURED MORON.
does that make you happy?
i doubt so. nothing i do ever does.

i'm stereotyped by my class, by my friends, and now this.
its the inside that matters.
you told me this yourself. so why, why do you even look at my appearances?
i know you're ashamed of me, just trying not to show it.
and you never trust me for anything. everything i do is wrong in your eyes.
i get scolded for things others do. why? because you never trust me for anything.
you'd rather choose to believe strangers than listen to me.
you know your defination?
i set the time, and tell you i'll be back by then.
you tell me no, and pull the time forward by 1-2 hours.
just because you have few friends doesn't mean i don't have any.
i want my freedom too.

i don't want to live isolated anymore.
give me freedom, space to stretch my wings.
i know you complain about me in front of other people.
how my studies suck to the core, my appearance very beng, my attitude.
i've never said a thing about you to my friends before.
not one fcuking thing.
i still won't, but my opinion is changing.
i have no choice in family. i have a choice in my friends.
i'm not beng. i don't smoke. i don't drink, much. i don't do anything illegal except litter.
why? why don't you trust me?
fuck.
my eyes are watering up again.
you don't even allow me to work.
i'm not allowed to dye my hair.
i'm not allowed to go out too often.
i'm not allowed to hang out overnight.
i'm not allowed to make my own decisions.
the only thing you want me to do is study.
i know what i'm good in.
you don't look at my strengths. only my weaknesses.
what i'm good in, is ignored. what i suck at, you bring forth.
you don't even respect my privacy. i can't have my own room.
i'm DECENT, damn it.
i don't watch p*rn.
i know that's what you're afraid of, if i get my own room.
i'm not dirty minded, for the love of god.
what my brother does, you allow, cause he's young.
he's YOUNG. SO WHAT.
don't need to teach him?
fuck this.
i don't have any mood to talk now.
my hands will probably be bleeding tomorrow.









but, no matter what, i just want you to know.
i still love you, mum.

28th may 2009

its been 2 years.
and this exact date.
sometimes i wonder if you miss me as much as i do you.
nevermind. those days are gone.
i'm putting everything behind me.
from now on, you're no longer a part of my life.




forgetting is a cure for misery.





aravindas with his trademark posture

1/8 class photo, haha!
LOL @ aravin's skinny legs :x

aaron the counsellor

republic poly, boring!

this is what i stirred for a damn 60 minutes.
roy only did 20/80 minutes of the thing -.-

daniel extracting weilun's saliva :O

junjie, xiaopang

axel's puny camera :x

revenge!
meta student taking his first photo.

you see! axel's camera so puny :D

the evidence is the unstability of this photo :P

jj uhm, 'poking' xiaopang's butt



COMPOSITION
free writing
-write about a time when you spent a day out with friends.

28th may 2009

it was a great day, with a breezy sky and just a hint of oncoming rain.
my friends, axel, junjie, junhao, xiaopang, derrick, and of course, me, were deciding on msn where to hang out.
after much consideration, we decided on tampines mall's golden village.
on the way, i was rudely pulled over and interrupted by somebody working for charity.
obviously, i replied with 'no'
but i was kept for a total of 3 minutes, and i ended up paying 10 dollars so as not to feel guilty for wasting her time.
i understand that some people might call me an idiot, and yes, all of my friends did.
(lesson learnt - say no, followed by 'shut the fuck up, asshole.')
to avoid further embarrassment, i quickly hurried over to the mall's macdonalds.
when i got there, junjie, xiaopang and derrick were already over there.

the four of us went to queue up for the tickets, and the first thing we noted was... whoa.
the number of people in the line was abundant, so much so that we stood there for a solid 15 minutes.
eventually, we got tickets for the show 'monsters vs aliens 3d'
ridiculously funny, defenitely recommended, though it might be wiser to get the non-3d kind.
the glasses gave me a migraine.
went back to macdonalds to hang out, and derrick left.
the remaining five of us played chopsticks, the kiddy game where 1 + 4 = death.
but when its all at the same time, HAHA
its damn fun. forming alliances and betraying allies.
then, i noticed that i had not eaten a SINGLE DAMN THING from morning til then.
so i bus-ed back home with junhao, and ravished the fridge.
ate about 1kg worth of food, then went to sleep.

overall, i feel that i had a great day, considering the fact that there had been e-learning during the morning.
although i was hungry to the point of eating my own leg, i managed to hang in there.
kudos to me!
i was also a bit disappointed that i didn't manage to find any job at macdonalds or KFC, therefore i am deciding to go to 201 again today to hunt for vacancies.
i also know that nobody will ever read this dumb post, because its long and boring.
if you actually read until here, you're an idiot.
don't bring money out, or you'll get scammed the same way i did.
i am never going to do compositions again.


about 330 words? didn't bother to do an exact count.


SUMMARY WRITING
what the fuck did you do during that day?
maximum of 100 words

-discussed places to go.
-met up at macdonalds, then went to watch monsters vs aliens
-glasses = migraine
-derrick left, played with axel's camera and my 5MPX handphone.
-went to find jobs around tampines
-took the bus back home.

38 words.
short and sweet right?
no wonder people do summaries.

one goes after another
until there's nothing left.

hey bitches!
as promised, here's the mearge amount of pictures that i have.
i'll let you pain your eyes before bleeding them out with my post!
haha!




vinegar Y + 3 magnesium ribbons

RE: read above caption

louis & chunyin fretting over the instructions

vinegar solution x, y & z

our school hall

me, aravin
fake smileeeee (:

i think it's safe to say that i did this poster all by meself!
*proud smile

roy's chemical concoction

my chemistry test tubes
red is the bomb! <3
looks like ribena though :x

that marks the end of my pics ):
eyes bleeding yet?
speaking of which,
teacher finally finished the show '28 days later' (or was it weeks?)
nice show, bloody, touching, and a very lame ending.
i believe jasnyn (almost) cried during one part?
highlight moment of the day man.
first time someone can cry until laugh, haha!
i couldn't get myself to watch certain parts myself, such as the literally 'eye popping' part.
i remember my last memory of that incident wasn't a happy one.
yeah, some people call me a loser, a wimp, a sissy, whatever.
but.
is it cool to enjoy blood and gore?
if it is, go smear yourself with it and talk to me again.
i'm simply not the kind of guy who enjoys these stuff.

holidays are coming soon -.-
gotta find tianshen again, see if got any lobang >:)
i want work at freaking sakura, damnit!
half year also nevermind!
walaoooooooooooooooo -.-
i need money ):

k, i'll end my post here.
buh bye!








i can feel what it's like to experience the same thing the people go through.
i feel the pain, the fright and everything they feel.
if its not real, that makes it better.
if it is.. it won't be any different either.
some people won't listen to what i say
especially advice.
but yeah. trust me.
i've been through more shit than you know,
and emotional pain of the deepest kind.
you think you've been through more than me?
maybe you have.
but i doubt so.

25th may 2009

i can see, i can hear, i can feel
but i can't get myself to acknowledge you







i am the wind that blows your hair.
i am the fire that burns the air.
i am the cold that bites your bones.
i am the voice to music's tones.
i am the answer to all your sins.
i am the result of countless sufferings.
i am the paint at the corner of art.
i am the water that feeds the bark.
i am the thief that strikes in the dark.
yet, you're the one stealing my heart.


again, i did this myself!
not bad, i think.
in fact, i'd say its kinda good :x
but yeah, i know,
what do you think of it?





today's boring post..
science week's starting today & tomorrow
i'll upload the pictures by the end of tomorrow, for maximum results.
should've chosen something else for my station.
my station is bloody boring, stressful & =.= (this is the first time i used this expression!)
but all of you damn free people MUST come hor!
just to sit there and stare at me (:

um, yeah
for some reason everyone's gotten hyper over my (primary school pics?)
i got asked 'how did you make such a big transformation from p5 to sec 3?'
well...
i admit i was a dork, nerd, geek, or just plain toot during p5 - sec 1
sec 2 i started changing, become more... tch tch *wink
and by the end of sec 2 i became this 'fcuking yandao' sitting at the top left hand corner of 305

LOL!
kay i'm over myself.
anyw, hope you like my poem, and i'll try posting more interesting stuff up in the future.

24th may 2009

dying. again.
this time, its more physical than emotional.

retribution, i guess.
this filthy mouth, what with the curses, insults and all that.
if i'm branded as healthy i'll become an omnivore.
not bad, considering i've been having a no-green vegetables diet for 8 years.
and i promise you. it is 8 years.
i've been eating nothing but animal flesh for 8 years.
though there's an excellent chance i won't be eating any more.
sigh.
my nails have turned blue, for some reason.